Chapter 8 - MARGARET SHOWS UP
Mom ignored the boundary eleven days after Christmas.
Our doorbell rang at seven-thirty in the morning.
I looked through the camera.
She stood on the porch holding presents.
Lily’s delayed Christmas gifts.
I went outside and closed the door behind me.
Mom smiled weakly.
“I brought her things.”
“I told you not to come.”
“I know.”
Her eyes filled.
“But you weren’t answering.”
“That was the point.”
She looked toward the house.
“Is she inside?”
“Lily?”
“Yes.”
“She is.”
“Can I see her?”
“No.”
Mom’s face collapsed.
“Daniel.”
“I’m serious.”
“You can’t keep doing this.”
“I can.”
“I’m her grandmother.”
“And I’m her father.”
She began crying.
“I made one mistake.”
I stayed silent.
“I said I’m sorry.”
“No.”
Her eyes flashed.
“I did.”
“You said sorry and blamed Emily in the same breath.”
“She was disrespectful.”
There.
Even now.
I nodded.
“That’s why you’re not coming in.”
Mom’s face hardened.
“So she can say anything to me?”
“No.”
“She can leave.”
“She can argue.”
“She can tell you you’re wrong.”
“What she cannot do is control whether you hit her.”
Mom looked shocked.
“I lost my temper.”
“Yes.”
“And Lily saw what you do when people stop accepting insults.”
“That is why she is afraid.”
Mom whispered.
“She’s afraid of me?”
That finally reached somewhere deeper.
“Yes.”
The tears changed.
Less theatrical.
More stunned.
“She thinks I would hit her?”
“I don’t know.”
“She saw you hit her mother.”
Mom sat down on the porch chair.
The presents remained beside her feet.
“I love that child.”
“I know.”
“Then why would she be afraid?”
“Because love does not erase what she saw.”
Mom covered her face.
For several minutes, neither of us spoke.
Then she asked.
“What do I do?”
First real question.
Not.
When can I come back?
Not.
How long will you punish me?
What do I do?
I answered.
“Start by apologizing without defending yourself.”
“To Emily?”
“Yes.”
“And Lily?”
“Yes.”
“Then what?”
“You wait.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know.”
She hated that answer.
But for once, she accepted it.
She left the presents.
I did not give them to Lily immediately.
I asked Emily first.
Then Lily.
Lily wanted them.
But not Grandma.
May you like
Not yet.
That mattered.
