Chapter 16 - SARAH’S HEALTH
Sarah’s gallbladder procedure happened as scheduled.
The supplemental plan did not ultimately cover everything.
Her regular insurance handled most.
She had a deductible.
She complained about it through her attorney.
I felt no satisfaction.
That surprised me.
At the moment I canceled the card, I wanted her to feel dependence disappear.
Now I understood something.
I did not want Sarah sick.
I wanted her powerless to hurt children.
Those were different wishes.
Michael drove her to surgery.
He asked me first.
“You don’t need my permission.”
“I know.”
“I’m telling you because I don’t want secrets.”
That mattered.
He did not bring her home afterward.
A home-health service helped for several days.
Sarah hated it.
She wanted family.
More precisely, she wanted obligation.
Michael visited twice.
Both times, he kept the visits short.
After the second, Sarah said.
“Emily won.”
Michael answered.
“This is not a contest.”
“She took you.”
“No.”
He said.
“You lost access because you hurt people.”
Sarah cried.
Then asked.
“Do you hate me?”
Michael’s answer surprised even him.
“No.”
“I wish hating you made this easier.”
That night he told me.
“I think I finally understand why I kept avoiding everything.”
“Why?”
“I thought if I admitted what Mom was doing, I would have to stop loving her.”
“And?”
“I don’t.”
He looked toward Olivia sleeping against my shoulder.
“I just have to stop letting love make decisions for me.”
For the first time in months, I leaned against him.
May you like
Only for a moment.
But I did.
