Chapter 18 - THE QUESTION I WASN’T READY TO ANSWER
Ryan saw the drawing.
Then looked at me.
Neither of us said anything.
Noah did.
“You can put it on your fridge.”
Ryan carefully took the paper.
“I absolutely will.”
He had rented a townhouse three blocks away.
Not a penthouse.
Not a mansion.
He said he wanted the boys to be able to ride their bikes over someday.
He attended preschool events.
Doctor appointments.
Soccer.
He learned Liam hated peas.
Mason slept with three blankets even in summer.
Noah became quiet when he was worried.
Ryan never missed a scheduled visit.
Not once.
Months passed.
Charles was indicted on fraud, conspiracy, obstruction, unlawful surveillance, and financial crimes.
The investigation into Arthur’s death remained open.
Eleanor moved back to the United States.
She became the grandmother my boys adored instantly.
My environmental foundation grew.
The patent settlement funded research laboratories across the Midwest.
For the first time, my work belonged to me.
One Friday evening, Ryan arrived for dinner.
The boys insisted.
Afterward, they fell asleep watching a movie.
Ryan and I sat in the quiet living room.
“You look happy.”
he said.
“I am.”
“That used to scare me.”
“I know.”
“Now I think it’s my favorite thing.”
I looked at him.
He smiled.
Then grew serious.
“Emily, I need to ask something.”
“If this is about custody, Julia already sent—”
“It isn’t.”
He took a breath.
“Is there ever going to be a chance for us?”
I had known this question was coming.
That didn’t make it easier.
“I loved you more than anyone.”
“I know.”
“And you broke something in me.”
“I know.”
“You don’t get the old Emily back.”
“I don’t want the old Emily.”
That surprised me.
“She trusted too easily.”
“She built her life around me.”
“She apologized when I was wrong.”
Ryan shook his head.
“I want the woman sitting here.”
“The one who doesn’t need me.”
“The one who might choose me only if I become worthy of being chosen.”
My eyes burned.
“Words aren’t enough.”
“I know.”
“It could take years.”
“I know.”
“And I might never want to marry you again.”
His voice remained steady.
“Then I will still be their father.”
That answer mattered more than everything else.
He wasn’t bargaining for love.
He was accepting responsibility.
I reached across the sofa.
For the first time in five years, I took his hand.
I did not kiss him.
I did not promise him anything.
But I didn’t let go either.
Then Mason appeared in the doorway.
He rubbed his eyes.
“Are you two getting married?”
Ryan nearly choked.
I laughed.
“No, sweetheart.”
Mason frowned.
“Okay.”
He started walking upstairs.
Then turned.
“You should.”
Ryan looked at me.
I pointed at him.
“Don’t.”
He smiled.
May you like
“I didn’t say anything.”
For once, the future felt uncertain in a way that did not scare me.
