Chapter 17 - Lauren Comes Back
I saw Lauren again in October.
Not at home.
Not at Mom’s.
At a therapist’s office.
Neutral ground.
She looked different.
Not physically.
Something in her posture.
Less defensive.
She sat across from me.
James waited outside.
“I’m sorry.”
I said nothing.
She continued.
“I hit Emma.”
“Yes.”
“I hurt Tyler.”
“Yes.”
“I lied about James.”
“Yes.”
“I blamed Mom and Dad.”
“Yes.”
She looked down.
“I don’t expect you to trust me.”
“Good.”
Her eyes filled.
“I miss you.”
That was the first thing she said that hurt me personally.
Because I missed her too.
Not the woman from Christmas.
My sister.
The girl who used to crawl into my bed during thunderstorms.
The teenager who borrowed my dresses.
The woman who held my hand after my miscarriages.
People are rarely only one thing.
That makes boundaries harder.
“I miss parts of you.”
Lauren nodded.
“I understand.”
We sat in silence.
Then I asked:
“Why Emma?”
Her face crumpled.
“I was angry.”
“At a baby?”
“No.”
She swallowed.
“At you.”
That surprised me.
“Why?”
“You had everything I thought I was supposed to have.”
“Lauren.”
“I know it isn’t true.”
She shook her head.
“But James came home.”
“You had Emma.”
“Everyone was celebrating you.”
“And your life felt like it was falling apart.”
“Yes.”
I stared at her.
“So you took it out on my child.”
“Yes.”
No excuse.
That mattered.
“I don’t know if I forgive you.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know if you’ll ever hold Emma again.”
Her eyes filled.
“I know.”
“And if I ever see you lose control around her—”
“You won’t.”
I interrupted.
“Don’t promise.”
She stopped.
I continued.
“Show me.”
Lauren nodded.
That was the beginning.
May you like
Not reconciliation.
Proof.
