Chapter 25 - A Mother's Goodbye
Rebecca asked to meet us alone first.
We met in a treatment center conference room.
She was thirty-one.
Too thin.
Tired.
Her hands shook.
The first thing she said was, “Please don't tell my daughter I don't love her.”
Sophie began crying instantly.
Rebecca looked ashamed.
“I know what people think.”
“I don't,” Sophie said.
Rebecca stared at her.
“I've failed every program.”
“You're still here.”
“I disappeared for eleven days.”
“You came back.”
Rebecca laughed bitterly.
“You're trying very hard not to hate me.”
Sophie leaned forward.
“No.”
She looked at Rebecca.
“I'm trying very hard to remember that loving someone doesn't automatically make you capable of caring for them safely.”
Rebecca's face broke.
She looked at me.
“Is she always like this?”
“Yes.”
Sophie kicked my shoe.
Rebecca laughed through tears.
Then she became serious.
“I want Lily to have a home where nobody disappears.”
The sentence hit me directly in the chest.
I looked at Sophie.
She heard it too.
Rebecca continued.
“I need years, maybe.”
She twisted a tissue between her fingers.
“She doesn't have years to wait for me to become her mother again.”
Sophie reached across the table.
Rebecca let her take her hand.
“You are her mother.”
Rebecca shook her head.
“So are you.”
Sophie stopped.
No one spoke.
Rebecca began crying.
“I saw how she looks at you.”
She turned toward me.
“And you.”
My throat tightened.
“She talks about your terrible pancakes.”
“They're not terrible.”
Both women looked at me.
I shut up.
Rebecca smiled.
Then she wiped her face.
“I want to sign.”
The process took months.
There were lawyers.
Court dates.
Evaluations.
Paperwork.
Lily knew more as the date approached.
One evening, she asked Sophie, “If you adopt me, do I have to forget my first mom?”
Sophie dropped to her knees.
“No.”
“Can I have two?”
“Yes.”
“Is that weird?”
“Our family stopped being normal a long time ago.”
I smiled from the doorway.
Lily thought about it.
“Can I keep Bennett?”
“As your middle name?”
“Yes.”
Sophie looked at me.
I nodded.
The adoption became final on a clear Thursday morning.
The judge smiled at Lily.
“What name would you like to use?”
Lily sat straighter.
“Lily Bennett Parker.”
The judge looked at us.
“Sounds like a strong name.”
Lily reached for my hand.
Then Sophie's.
May you like
For the first time in my life, hearing the word Dad didn't make me think about everything I had lost.
It made me look at everything standing beside me.
